Children's Online Safety: An Age-by-Age Guide for Parents

A four-year-old watching cartoons on the sofa and a fourteen-year-old messaging friends at midnight need different kinds of protection. The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP), the US professional body for pediatricians, used its 2026 policy to move family advice beyond simple screen-time limits, toward the quality of what children use, the context they use it in, and conversation.¹ For online safety for kids, that means less a single rule and more a set of habits that loosen as a child grows.

Advice from the WHO, the AAP, UNICEF, Australia’s eSafety Commissioner and Internet Matters, a UK not-for-profit launched in 2014 by four large UK broadband providers,² falls into four stages. Treat them as general guidance to adapt to your child, not rules:

1. Under five: share the screen and stay in the room
2. Ages six to nine: child accounts, and no chat with strangers
3. Ages 10 to 12: limit who can reach them, and talk about why
4. Teenagers: agreed limits and regular talk replace most controls

The account and password habits that protect adults, from updates to two-step sign-in, are in digital safety basics for the whole family; this guide covers what changes with a child’s age.

How online safety for kids changes with age

Online safety for kids changes with age because the risks that matter most shift: for young children it is what they see and how long they sit, and from late primary (elementary) school it is increasingly who can reach them. The AAP’s 2026 policy links misuse of media in early childhood to poorer sleep and language delays, and in the teenage years to design features that encourage compulsive use and can expose teens to content promoting self-harm or eating disorders.¹

Your role changes with it. With a toddler, supervision means sitting next to them. With a teenager, you cannot see every screen, so what protects them is whether they will tell you when something feels wrong. Every stage below mixes the same five ingredients (devices, supervision, settings, content and contact, and conversation) in different proportions.

1. Under 5: screens shared with an adult, in the same room
2. 6 to 9: child accounts, devices in shared rooms, contact switched off or limited
3. 10 to 12: settings that limit who can reach them, plus talk about contact risks
4. Teens: fewer controls, more conversation and limits agreed together

Set up each stage so it builds the next one. The habit of showing you what they watch at four becomes the habit of mentioning an odd message at twelve.

Under five: share the screen and stay in the room

For children under five, the World Health Organization’s 2019 guidance does not recommend any sedentary screen time for 1-year-olds, and sets a ceiling of one hour a day for 2- to 4-year-olds, adding that less is better. It encourages reading and storytelling with a caregiver instead.³

The reasoning is about what screens replace. The AAP says infants learn best from real-world interaction, and that heavy solo screen use can affect developing language and social skills.¹ A video call with a grandparent is a conversation; an hour of autoplay alone is not.

In practice, Internet Matters suggests passwords or PINs on every device, keeping devices where you can see them, choosing slow-paced content and child accounts, and switching off contact from others, so a young child only calls or chats with people you have set up. It also warns against handing a young child an unlocked adult phone, even briefly, because they can stumble onto content not meant for them.⁴ Picture the waiting room: your phone, your apps, your recent videos, one tap from anything.

Myth

Educational apps are safe for toddlers to use alone.

Fact

The label matters less than how the app is used. Internet Matters says children learn more when an adult watches or plays alongside them and talks about what is on screen.

Ages six to nine: child accounts, and no chat with strangers

Internet Matters says children aged 6 to 10 mostly like to watch videos and play games online, so the job shifts to setting up those apps well. Internet Matters advises separate child accounts, parental controls on home broadband and on each device, and keeping devices in shared rooms rather than bedrooms. In games, it suggests that only friends can chat, and for children aged six to eight, turning chat off entirely.⁵

Age ratings are a starting point. Europe’s PEGI system rates games for content in five age bands, and since June 2026 it rates any game with unrestricted voice or text chat, where players cannot block or mute others and there is no moderation, as PEGI 18.⁶ It applies to games submitted from June 2026, so an older rating may not reflect it.⁷ A cheerful-looking game can still carry an adult rating because of who the child may meet in it, so check the descriptors as well as the number.

Rules work better when children know them. Internet Matters suggests agreeing as a family which apps are allowed, for how long and where, and making sure grandparents and older siblings know the rules too.⁵ A rule that only one adult knows is easy to get around: the game that is off limits at home gets played at a grandparent’s house on an unlocked tablet. Write the few family rules down and share them with everyone who looks after your child.

Ages 10 to 12: limit who can reach them, and talk about why

In the last years of primary school, who can reach your child starts to matter as much as what they see. Australia’s eSafety Commissioner says children often first experience online sexual grooming in late primary school, that children aged 10 and sometimes younger are often targeted, and that the people doing it are usually adults. Groomers go where children are: popular games and apps, sometimes behind a fake profile of another gamer, and they steer children into private chats. eSafety lists warning signs to teach your child: someone who asks many personal questions soon after meeting, offers gifts or favors, asks to keep the friendship hidden, asks which room the device is in, comments on their body, or insists on meeting.⁸

Read as a set, most of those signs point the same way: away from the adults around the child and into a private space. A new “teammate” may be kind for weeks, then ask your child to keep their chats “just between us”. The request for secrecy is the signal, however friendly the rest has been.

Settings still help. Internet Matters suggests controls in games and apps that restrict who can add, follow and privately message your child.⁹ Whether your child is ready for a phone of their own is a separate decision, and a later guide weighs that evidence.

Talk about the signs before they’re needed, and say plainly that your child will not be in trouble for telling you.

Legal minimum ages for apps differ from country to country

The minimum ages parents hear about come from different laws with different aims, so a child’s age can mean something different in each country. Most social media platforms set 13 in their own terms, a figure Internet Matters notes is generally the minimum.⁹

A legal age is a floor, not a readiness test. Internet Matters points out that many apps now offer experiences built for each age group, so signing up with a false age can leave a child open to more risk.⁹ The rules also overlap, so a 13-year-old can meet an app’s own minimum and still need a parent’s consent for some uses of their data in an EU country that kept 16. Before your child signs up, check the app’s minimum and your own country’s rules, which may be changing, and use their real birth date.

Teenagers: agreed limits and regular talk replace most controls

For teenagers, Internet Matters suggests moving from blanket parental controls to supervision tools and limits agreed together. It says such tools work best alongside conversation, and suggests inviting your teen to discuss what the limits should look like rather than announcing them. As teens near adulthood, it suggests letting them set their own limits and checking in each week on how those are going.¹⁴

The aim is skills they keep after the controls come off. The AAP suggests asking teens questions such as what pulls them back to social media and what reminds them to put it down, so they learn to notice engagement-based design for themselves.¹⁵

On mental health, the evidence is concerning but not settled. The WHO Regional Office for Europe reported in 2024 that signs of problematic social media use among young adolescents rose from 7 percent in 2018 to 11 percent in 2022 in a school survey spanning Europe, central Asia and Canada.¹⁶ That is a self-reportedself-report: A measure in which people describe their own behavior, feelings or circumstances, usually by answering a questionnaire. When the same person supplies both of the things being compared, shared habits of answering can make the link between them look stronger than it is.Full entry in the glossary survey measure of addiction-like patterns, not a diagnosis, and it cannot show that social media caused anyone’s distress. The AAP says effects on teens vary and more studies are needed.¹

Your own habits are part of the example, and what the research says about adults’ screen time covers the grown-up side. With a teenager, aim for someone who can explain their own limits.

Why children keep problems to themselves

A large survey of European children, EU Kids Online, found that in most of the countries surveyed, children upset by something online more often talked to a friend their own age than to a parent, and some told nobody at all. Parents cannot help with a problem they never hear about, so the reaction a child expects from you matters as much as any setting.

The study

Moderate evidence

After something upset them online, whom did European children tell?

Children who had been bothered or upset by something online were asked whom they talked to the last time it happened. Averaged across the 15 countries with full data, about half talked to a friend their own age and about 4 in 10 to a parent, while only about 1 in 20 told a teacher. About 1 in 5 told no one.¹⁷

The survey data are several years old, cover Europe only and count any upsetting experience, from bullying to a technical glitch, so read them as a pattern, not a rate for your child.

UNICEF’s advice aims to make you the person they tell. It suggests staying calm, listening without interrupting, and telling your child they did the right thing by coming to you. It warns that taking away the device or internet access can leave a child feeling punished and less likely to come to you next time.¹⁸ A nine-year-old who mentions a mean message and loses the tablet for a week will probably say nothing about the next one.

1. 1Stay calmtake a breath before you respond
2. 2Listenlet them show you what happened
3. 3Reassurethey did the right thing by telling you
4. 4Act togethersave evidence, then block, mute or report
5. 5Check in laterwatch for changes that last

These small habits, built early, tell a child you are safe to come to.

Habits that make telling you easier

• Ask about their online life as casually as about school
• Play or watch alongside them now and then
• Agree the family rules together, and review them as they grow
• Say in advance that telling you will not mean losing the device
• Stay calm when they do tell you, and thank them
• Show them how to block, mute and report in the apps they use

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Warning signs and where to get help

UNICEF lists common signs that a child may be troubled by something online: headaches or stomach aches, trouble sleeping, appetite changes, unexplained sadness or anxiety, distress after being online, avoiding devices or becoming unusually secretive, and fear of going to school or avoiding social situations.¹⁸ One sign alone may mean little, and aches can have other causes; a change that lasts is worth a gentle conversation.

What to do depends on urgency. UNICEF points to the police or a local child protection organization whenever you fear for your child’s safety, and to a primary health care provider if changes in mood or behavior last for some time. It notes that many countries have a free child helpline where children can talk to someone anonymously, suggests saving screenshots of messages before deleting anything, and advises talking to the school if classmates are involved.¹⁸ Below, we have sorted that advice, with eSafety’s, by urgency.

• Now: if your child is in immediate danger, is being threatened, or talks about wanting to end their life, the first call goes to your local emergency number. Examples: 112 anywhere in the EU,¹⁹ and in the US, 911 for a life-threatening situation or the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, reached on 988 by phone or text.²⁰
• Soon: see a primary health care provider about changes that last, and consider a child helpline; Child Helpline International lists them by country.²¹ In Australia, for example, eSafety points to Kids Helpline, and for grooming or sexual extortion to the Australian Centre to Counter Child Exploitation.⁸
• Alongside either: keep the evidence, use the app’s block and report tools with your child, and tell the school if classmates are involved.

The bottom line

The one habit that carries across every age is a child who tells you when something goes wrong. Build it early by sharing screens and making rules together, protect it by staying calm when bad news arrives, and loosen controls as your child shows they can manage. In an emergency, the number to know is your local one, and your child should know it too.