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The conversation · Lesson 7 of 10

Simple Scripts for Pay Conversations You Can Practise

Learn a handful of short, polite sentences for pay talks, and rehearse them so the words are ready when you feel nervous.

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THE WRITTEN LESSONFollow along at your pace

When you feel nervous, it helps to have the words ready. This lesson gives you a handful of short, polite sentences for pay conversations, and a way to practise them.

A simple shape

Most pay conversations follow a simple shape. Open warmly. Give your case in one or two facts. Then say your number. Then ask a question that hands the talk back.

For example: “I’m excited about this role. Based on my experience running similar projects, and pay for similar roles, I’m asking for $68,000. How does that fit your budget?”

Four numbered steps: Open warmly, Your case, Your number and A question back. Below is the example script: I'm excited about this role. Based on my experience running similar projects, and pay for similar roles, I'm asking for $68,000. How does that fit your budget?(opens the full-size picture)
Four steps, four short lines.

Questions are tools

Questions are your best tools. Keep a few ready:

  • What is that figure based on?
  • Is there flexibility on the salary?
  • What would need to be true for this to work?

Open questions that start with what or how get people talking. Then pause, and listen.

A card titled Questions to keep ready lists What is that figure based on, Is there flexibility on the salary, and What would need to be true for this to work. An ear is labelled Listen and a chip says Open questions start with what or how.(opens the full-size picture)
Three questions to keep in your pocket.

Slow down

Silence is fine. When they name a number, count to three before you answer, or repeat it back: “So, $62,000.”

In experiments, anxious negotiators replied faster and settled for less, so slowing down helps. You can always say: “I’d like to think about that overnight.”

A bubble with $62,000, then the numbers 1, 2, 3 under Count to three, then a bubble So, $62,000? labelled Or repeat it back. A short red bar Fast reply: less sits beside a taller green bar Slow reply: more, and a moon chip reads Let me think overnight.(opens the full-size picture)
Count to three, repeat it back, or sleep on it.

Anxious? Slow down first

In the experiments, anxious negotiators replied faster and settled for less. A pause, a repeated number or a night to think it over slows you down.

When they say final offer

If they say it is their final offer, do not argue about the word. Ask about the rest of the package: “Setting the salary aside, could we look at the start date, or a review in six months?” Offers are rarely truly final.

A job offer for $50,000 per year with a FINAL OFFER stamp, and an open door beside it labelled The rest of the package, with the chips Start date and Review in 6 months. Chips read Don't argue about the word and Offers are rarely truly final.(opens the full-size picture)
Do not argue about the word. Try the side door.

One more thing

Watch for small extras at the very end, like: “One more thing, could you also take on this?” Answer with: “Happy to look at that. What would you offer in return?”

And before you agree to anything big, ask: “Is there anything else we need to settle?”

A handshake, a small card reading One more thing, and a bubble Could you also take on this? Below, a reply bubble reads Happy to look at that. What would you offer in return? A yellow chip reads Anything else to settle?(opens the full-size picture)
A small extra deserves a trade, not a yes.

Rehearse

Write your opening line, and one reply to push-back. Then rehearse with a friend who pushes back twice.

In studies, simple plans like “if they say no, I’ll say this” helped people stay calmer, though the effect was small.

Two people sit at a table. One says I understand. Here is why. The friend says No twice. A notepad titled My plan lists If they say no, I'll say this, and Stay calm, with the chip Calmer, a little. A label reads Friend pushes back twice.(opens the full-size picture)
Practise with a friend who says no twice.

YOUR TURN

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Read the full lesson script

In this lesson, you'll get a handful of short, polite sentences for pay conversations, and practise them, so the words are ready when you feel nervous.

Most pay conversations follow a simple shape. Open warmly. Give your case in one or two facts. Then your number. Then a question that hands it back. For example: I'm excited about this role. Based on my experience running similar projects, and pay for similar roles, I'm asking for sixty-eight thousand. How does that fit your budget?

Questions are your best tools. What is that figure based on? Is there flexibility on the salary? What would need to be true for this to work? Open questions that start with what or how get people talking. Then pause, and listen.

Silence is fine. When they name a number, count to three before you answer, or repeat it back: so, sixty-two thousand. In experiments, anxious negotiators replied faster and settled for less, so slowing down helps. You can always say: I'd like to think about that overnight.

If they say it's their final offer, don't argue about the word. Ask about the rest of the package: setting the salary aside, could we look at the start date, or a review in six months? Offers are rarely truly final.

Watch for small extras at the very end, like: one more thing, could you also take on this? Answer with: happy to look at that, what would you offer in return? And before you agree to anything big, ask: is there anything else we need to settle?

Write your opening line, and one reply to push-back. Then rehearse with a friend who pushes back twice. In studies, simple plans like, if they say no, I'll say this, helped people stay calmer, though the effect was small.

So remember: open warmly, give your case, your number, and a question. Pause before you answer any number. And trade, don't just give. Before the next lesson, write your opening line and one reply to push-back, and rehearse them with a friend. Next, you'll learn how to ask for a raise in your current job.