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What lifts it · Lesson 6 of 11

Kindness and Giving: Does Helping Others Make You Happier?

See what research says about kind acts and spending on others, how big the lift is, and how to fit small kind acts into your week without burning out.

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THE WRITTEN LESSONFollow along at your pace

Many of us feel good after helping someone. This lesson looks at what research says about that feeling: whether kindness really lifts the person giving, how big the lift is, and how to fit it into an ordinary week.

Spending on others

In one experiment, people were given a small sum of money to spend, either on themselves or on someone else. Those who spent it on someone else were happier afterwards. In surveys, too, people who spend more of their income on others tend to be happier. Surveys cannot prove cause, but they point the same way as the experiment.

An envelope with a coin, labeled A small sum, splits into two paths. One leads to a person with a shopping bag and a flat face, labeled On yourself. The other leads to a person with a gift and a big smile, labeled On someone else. A clipboard on the right says Surveys agree.(opens the full-size picture)
The same small sum, spent two ways.

A real lift for the giver

A review of 27 studies, with about 4,000 people, found that doing kind acts gives a small to medium lift in wellbeing for the person doing them. It showed up across ages and for both men and women.

A bar chart titled Wellbeing of the giver. The bar for Doing kind acts is clearly taller than the bar for Usual week. Labels say 27 studies, About 4,000 people and Men and women, above a row of people of different ages.(opens the full-size picture)
The lift is for the giver, and it appears across ages.

More acts, more lift

In a week-long experiment, people who did kind acts for seven days became happier, and the more kind acts they did, the bigger the lift. It did not seem to matter much which kind of kindness they chose.

A week from Monday to Sunday with a heart in each day, beside a line chart called Happiness rising from Day 1 to Day 7. Below, a bar with two hearts is shorter than a bar with five hearts, labeled Fewer acts and More acts. A label says Any kind of kindness, beside a gift, a phone and a door.(opens the full-size picture)
More kind acts went with a bigger lift, whatever kind they were.

Small counts

You do not need grand gestures. Small, everyday acts count: holding a door, sending a thank-you message, helping a neighbor carry shopping, or giving an hour of your time.

Four cards: Hold a door with an open door, Say thank you with a phone showing a heart, Help a neighbour with two people carrying shopping bags, and Give an hour with a clock and a heart. A label below says No grand gestures needed.(opens the full-size picture)
Four small acts, none of which costs much.

Keep it kind to you

Kindness should not drain you. Give what you can afford in time and money, and say no when you are stretched thin. Kindness that leaves you exhausted or resentful stops feeling good, so looking after your own energy is part of doing this well.

A balance scale with a heart labeled Giving on one side and a full battery labeled Your energy on the other, kept level, with the label Give what you can. On the right, a person with an almost empty battery and a red cross is labeled Exhausted.(opens the full-size picture)
Keep giving and your energy in balance.

Plan it in

One simple way to start is to plan a few small kind acts into one day of the week. Planning them can help you notice chances you would otherwise miss, like a neighbor with heavy bags or a friend who could use a message.

A week strip from Monday to Sunday with Thursday highlighted and three hearts in it, titled Kindness day. Below, a panel titled Notice chances shows a door, a shopping bag, a phone, a cup and a magnifier.(opens the full-size picture)
One kindness day a week gives you a reason to look for chances.

YOUR TURN

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Read the full lesson script

In this lesson, you'll see what research says about kindness and giving: whether helping others really makes you happier, how big the effect is, and how to fit it into an ordinary week.

In one study, people were given a small sum of money to spend, either on themselves or on someone else. Those who spent it on someone else were happier afterwards. In surveys, too, people who spend more of their income on others tend to be happier.

A review of twenty-seven studies, with about four thousand people, found that doing kind acts gives a small to medium lift in wellbeing for the person doing them. It showed up across ages and for both men and women.

In a week-long experiment, people who did kind acts for seven days became happier, and the more kind acts they did, the bigger the lift. It didn't seem to matter much which kind of kindness they chose.

You don't need grand gestures. Small, everyday acts count: holding a door, sending a thank-you message, helping a neighbour carry shopping, or giving an hour of your time.

Kindness shouldn't drain you. Give what you can afford in time and money, and say no when you're stretched thin. Kindness that leaves you exhausted or resentful stops feeling good.

One simple way to start is to plan a few small kind acts into one day of the week. Planning them can help you notice chances you'd otherwise miss.

So remember: spending on others and small kind acts tend to make you happier. The lift is small to medium, and it grows with practice. And kindness should fit your life, not drain it. Before the next lesson, do one small, unplanned kind act, and notice how you feel afterwards. Next, you'll learn to savor good moments.