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Simple tools · Lesson 6 of 10

Turn a Worry Into One Next Step You Control

Sort a worry, check the odds against your own record, and choose one next step with a time and a place so you can stop going in circles.

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THE WRITTEN LESSONFollow along at your pace

A worry feels big because it has no edges. In this lesson you turn one worry into one next step that you control. The method comes from a stress article on worst-case thinking, and it takes only a few minutes.

Sort it first

Some worries are problems you can do something practical about. Others are about things outside your control. Only the first kind gets a plan. For example, the worry “the budget draft has mistakes” can be fixed, while “my manager is in a bad mood” cannot.

Two boxes. The left one, with a wrench, is labeled Can act on and holds the card Fix the budget draft. The right one, with a cloud, is labeled Outside my control and holds the card My manager's mood. A line below says Only the first kind gets a plan.(opens the full-size picture)
Only the worries in the left box get a plan.

Check the odds with your own record

Next, use your own track record as the starting point. Ask: how many short, curt emails from this manager led to anything serious? If the honest answer is dozens, and none, the worst case deserves a low number, even if it still feels high. You are not trying to feel cheerful. You are trying to read the situation fairly.

Eighteen small envelopes, each with a green tick, labeled None led anywhere. Beside them a dial with the needle set near Low, labeled The worst case: a low number. A line below reads Your track record is the baseline.(opens the full-size picture)
Count the past cases. The dial follows the record, not the feeling.

Test the two claims separately

A worry often makes two claims at once: that the worst will happen, and that you couldn’t cope if it did. Each can be tested on its own. For the first, check the odds, as above. For the second, write a short plan for the worst case, then stop. A short plan reminds you that you have more options than the worry suggests, and stopping keeps the plan from turning into another loop.

Two cards. The left card, It will happen, shows a dial near Low and the words Check the odds. The right card, I couldn't cope, shows an open notebook with a pencil and the words A short plan, then stop.(opens the full-size picture)
Each claim gets its own test: odds for one, a short plan for the other.

Decide what is in your control

Now decide what is in your control. Before tomorrow’s meeting, you can reopen the file and note what you would fix. You can’t control your manager’s mood. Put your effort into the first and let the second go.

Two cards. The left card shows a yellow folder marked Budget with a green tick and the words Reopen the file, note fixes. The right card shows a grey cloud with a red cross and the words Your manager's mood.(opens the full-size picture)
Your part is the folder, not the cloud.

Choose one step, with a time and a place

Finally, choose one next step and say when and where you will do it. This is called an implementation intentionimplementation intention: A plan in if-then form that ties a specific action to a specific situation, such as 'if it is nine o'clock, then I open the report.' It hands the decision about when and where to act to the situation itself.Full entry in the glossary, or if-then plan. A plan such as “when I sit down after the morning meeting, I open the budget draft” gives the worry somewhere to go. In a large review of if-then plans, they worked better than plain schedules, and stating both when and where helped. The typical gain was small, so treat it as a useful habit, not a guarantee.

A card reads When I sit down after the morning meeting, then I open the budget draft. Chips labeled When and Where sit below it, next to two bars: a tall green bar for If-then plans and a shorter yellow bar for Plain schedules.(opens the full-size picture)
An if-then plan names the when and the where.

An honest note

These steps are self-help versions of techniques used in talking therapy. Their evidence comes from therapy trials, not from people using them on their own, and the sequence as a whole has not been tested. If worry is taking over your days, see the last lesson of this course.

YOUR TURN

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Read the full lesson script

In this lesson, you'll learn to take one worry and turn it into one next step that you control.

First, sort it. Some worries are problems you can do something practical about. Others are about things outside your control. Only the first kind gets a plan.

Next, check the odds with your own track record. How many short emails from this manager led to anything serious? If the answer is dozens, and none, the worst case deserves a low number, even if it still feels high.

A worry often makes two claims at once: that the worst will happen, and that you couldn't cope if it did. Test each one. For the first, check the odds. For the second, write a short plan for the worst case, then stop.

Then decide what's in your control. Before tomorrow's meeting, you can reopen the file and note what you'd fix. You can't control your manager's mood.

Finally, choose one next step, and give it a time and a place. Use an if-then plan: when I sit down after the morning meeting, I open the budget draft. In a large review, plans like this, with a when and a where, worked better than plain schedules.

These steps are self-help versions of techniques used in talking therapy. Their evidence comes from therapy trials, not from people using them on their own.

So remember: sort it, check the odds, and choose one step with a time and a place. Before the next lesson, turn one worry into one next step. Next, you'll learn to step back from your thoughts.