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When it's hard · Lesson 10 of 11

How to Restart After a Slip and Get Out of a Slump

Slips are normal. Learn to protect the day after a miss, forgive yourself, restart small and handle flat days without giving up.

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THE WRITTEN LESSONFollow along at your pace

Almost everyone slips. This lesson is about what you do next, because slipping is part of the process, not the end of it. You will see why one miss matters so little, how to protect the day after, and how to restart without guilt.

Slips are normal

In one long study of New Year’s resolutions, more than half of the people who kept their goal for two years had slipped at least once. Slips often followed stress, low mood, or losing control of the day.

A rising line chart of Goal kept from Start to Two years, with three red dots where the line dips before climbing again. Beside it, the words More than half kept their goal, with tags Stress, Low mood and Losing control of the day. A banner reads Most who succeeded slipped at least once.(opens the full-size picture)
The line dips, then keeps rising. Most who succeeded slipped at least once.

One miss barely matters

In a study of new daily habits, one missed day hardly changed how automatic the habit felt, and progress carried on once people resumed. Longer breaks may matter more.

A line chart called Feels automatic, rising from New habit to Weeks later with one small dip marked by a red dot. Beside it, a week of boxes with one empty Thursday, labelled Missed once, back on track, and a week with only Monday ticked, labelled A longer gap. Tags read One miss: barely a dent and Longer breaks matter more.(opens the full-size picture)
One empty box is a small dip. A longer gap is the bigger risk.

The gap is the risk

The real risk is the gap getting longer. In gym records, the longer since someone’s last visit, the less likely they were to go on any given day. So the day after a miss is the one to protect.

A row of seven day boxes headed Days since the last visit. Monday has a tick, Tuesday has a large circle outlined in green, and the circles shrink each day after. A barbell sits beside the words Chance of going gets smaller with every blank day. A banner reads Protect the day after a miss.(opens the full-size picture)
Each blank day makes going back a little less likely.

Forgive, then plan

Guilt about past delay can feed the next round. In one study, students who forgave themselves for putting off studying before a first exam procrastinated less before the second. That study only observed students, so it shows a link, not a guarantee. After a slip, write one line on what happened, and one on when you will start again. Then drop the subject.

A worried face beside the words Guilt feeds the next round. An arrow leads from Forgave themselves to Delayed less next time, with a tag One study. On the right, a notepad titled After a slip with two lines, What happened and When I'll start again. Banners read Forgive, then plan and Then drop the subject.(opens the full-size picture)
Two lines, then move on.

Fix the setup, not yourself

Treat a lapse as information about your setup, not about your character. Look at where it slipped, and change one thing about that place, such as moving your phone to another room. If you struggle less often, keep the change. If not, the fit is wrong, not you.

A person at a desk looking through a magnifying glass, under the banner Information, not a verdict. A phone in a box is labelled Another room. Tags read Struggle less often? Keep it, with a tick, and If not, the fit is wrong, not you.(opens the full-size picture)
Change one thing and see whether it helps.

Settle your restart in advance

Decide your restart before you need it, and make it smaller than a normal session, so it is easy to agree to. For example: “If I miss Tuesday’s session, I do ten minutes on Wednesday at the same time.” No make-up marathon is needed.

A week of boxes from M to S with a red X on Tuesday and Wednesday highlighted, beside a timer showing 10:00. A box reads If I miss Tuesday's session, I do ten minutes on Wednesday, same time. Tags read Smaller than a normal session and a crossed-out Make-up marathon.(opens the full-size picture)
A small, planned restart beats a make-up marathon.

Untested idea

Making the restart smaller than a normal session is a sensible idea, but it has not been tested as a rule. Treat it as an experiment and adjust it to suit you.

Fresh starts and flat days

Fresh starts can help, like a new week or a new month. People tend to begin goals around these dates. But the lift fades, so have your first week planned before the date arrives. And you do not need to wait for January. Next Monday counts.

Two calendar pages, MON labelled A new week and 1st labelled A new month, above a week bar. A line chart called Lift rises sharply at a Fresh start and falls over the weeks after. Banners read Plan the first week before the date, a crossed-out Wait for January, and Next Monday counts.(opens the full-size picture)
A fresh start gives a lift that fades, so plan the first week.

On a flat day, run a quick check. Did I sleep, have I eaten, have I moved today? Sleep loss in particular cuts positive mood. Then pick one or two small steps: shrink the task, change the room, or start before you feel ready. Read the urge to shut down as a report on your mood, not an order.

Three ticked cards: Sleep? with a moon, Eaten? with a bowl, and Moved? with a walking figure. A sleepy face says Sleep loss cuts positive mood. Tags read Shrink the task, Change the room and Start before you're ready. A box reads The urge to shut down is a report on your mood, not an order.(opens the full-size picture)
Check sleep, food and movement, then take one small step.

YOUR TURN

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Read the full lesson script

In this lesson, you'll learn how to restart after you slip, because slipping is part of the process, not the end of it.

Slips are normal. In one long study of New Year's resolutions, more than half of the people who kept their goal for two years had slipped at least once. Slips often followed stress, low mood, or losing control of the day.

Missing once barely matters. In a study of new daily habits, one missed day hardly changed how automatic the habit felt, and progress carried on once people resumed. Longer breaks may matter more.

The real risk is the gap getting longer. In gym records, the longer since someone's last visit, the less likely they were to go on any given day. So the day after a miss is the one to protect.

Guilt about past delay can feed the next round. In one study, students who forgave themselves for putting off studying before a first exam procrastinated less before the second. After a slip, write one line on what happened, and one on when you'll start again. Then drop the subject.

Treat a lapse as information about your setup, not about your character. Look at where it slipped, and change one thing about that place. If the struggle comes up less often, keep the change. If not, the fit is wrong, not you.

Settle your restart in advance. Make it smaller than a normal session, so it's easy to agree to. If I miss Tuesday's session, I do ten minutes on Wednesday at the same time. No make-up marathon needed.

Fresh starts can help, like a new week or a new month. People tend to begin goals around these dates. But the lift fades, so have your first week planned before the date arrives. And you don't need to wait for January. Next Monday counts.

On a flat day, run a quick check. Did I sleep, have I eaten, have I moved today? Sleep loss in particular cuts positive mood. Then pick one or two small steps: shrink the task, change the room, or start before you feel ready. Read the urge to shut down as a report on your mood, not an order.

So remember: slips are normal, protect the day after a miss, and restart small. Before the next lesson, write your restart rule for the next time you slip. Next, you'll make your own anti-procrastination plan.